Real talk with me, “HPV”

I was 16 years old sitting in my gynecologist’s office with my mom beside me. I had just experienced my first pap smear (*which during my mother was not in the room for…) and it was an trip to say the least. In my opinion no amount of information could prepare you for your first pap no matter how great your doctor is. Both my mom and grandma were patients of his so I decided to go to him also. It made me feel comfortable that he had already seen both of their lady parts, and that was good enough for me! With my mom in the room he started to talk about a new shot that was available that could protect against an infection in your cervix that could lead to cervical cancer. At that time I was in a long term relationship and I thought I was going to be with him the rest of my life. I mean…I was 16, I knew what love was! After talking with my mom a few minutes, without wanting to disclose to her the sexual details of my current relationship and with the shot being so new, I decided that I was not going to get it at that time.

In August of 2012 (without any other symptoms) I received my first abnormal pap results. A colposcopy (biopsy of the cervix) later I found out that my HPV diagnosis was determined low risk for cervical cancer.

For those of you that might not know of HPV (or if you do) please let me give you a little bit of education. HPV is very common. About 80% of people will get HPV at some point in their lives. There are more than 150 different varieties of the HPV viruses. 40 types typically can be sexually transmitted, others types can happen through skin-to-skin contact. Although uncommon, mothers who have it can transmit the virus to their child during pregnancy or delivery. I’m not trying to scare you, but there are multiple ways you can get it. But it can clear up on it’s own and some people might not ever know they’ve had it.

^^^I did not know all of that which I just told you when I was diagnosed. All I heard was “infection, cervical cancer, might need to take a portion or your cervix out”. I was so scared. I was so embarrassed, and I had no idea how it had happened. I felt so alone and helpless and I didn’t want to tell anyone in fear of being judged and looked at differently due to the stigma and taboo around it. This isn’t a topic that I feel just comes up in conversation with your friends or family. But if it’s so common, why don’t we talk about it? I wish I would have, I probably wouldn’t have felt as alone, but I couldn’t get over the fear of judgement.

Since I was low risk for cancer they told me that I just needed to have another pap in a year to see if my body could heal itself (because fortunately since it’s an infection, your body could potentially heal the abnormal cells).

I went back a year and a half later and my pap came back normal. I was so incredibly relieved. I felt free since I no longer had the thought of cancer lurking in the back of my mind.

August of 2018 I received another abnormal pap. I was absolutely crushed and could not even comprehend how I could have gotten another infection. I finally decided to sit down and educate myself as much as I could about HPV. I found out that once you have had it, if your immune system is down, it can come back after being dormant and the older you get the harder it is for your body to fight off. If you remember my previous posts, 2018 was a very unhealthy time for me. I waited a few months (going back and forth whether or not I was going to go through with another colposcopy because it’s painful and it’s an expensive procedure) and decided to go through with another colposcopy January 2019.

My labs came back low on the scale of cervical cancer again. So I had to just wait and see if it would clear up.

This was a month or so into reading personal help books. I decided that instead of feeling helpless and afraid, I was going to do what I could to get healthy and keep my immune system high to fight off the infection. I am not a doctor. But I researched ALL of the articles, took supplements, and started taking care of myself intentionally. In my search I came across information that lead me to believe that women taking the (birth control) pill could have an increased risk of cervical cancer and hormonal imbalance. So I stopped taking the pill. If you haven’t been introduced to the information about the side effects that the pill causes, I highly recommend looking into it. Again, I’m not a doctor. But knowing what I know now (and having the worst acne of my life) I personally would have stopped taking the pill years ago. I recommend the book “Beyond the Pill” By Dr. Jolene Brighten or following her on instagram. I recently attended the Wellness Way Women’s Summit this past Saturday. They too had a lot of crazy statistics and facts about the pill side effects and risks. I was surrounded by amazing humans all day and it was incredibly inspiring. There are so many people out there that are trying to be the change to make the world a better place….I digress.

September 2019 my pap came back normal. *pops a bottle of champaign*

I know I am not able to pinpoint why it cleared up, just as I am not able to pinpoint how I got it in the first place. But I know my body. I’m the one that is living in it every day and I made some decisions that I felt was right for me after a lot of educating. Should you believe everything you read on the internet? Absolutely not. But if you can, trust your gut! There is nothing wrong with getting a doctor’s opinion/diagnosis. You can even go and get a 2nd opinion, or 3rd opinion or a 4th opinion. You could even choose to do nothing. But you have the choice, and it’s your life and body. Yours.

Is there a healthy decision that you feel you could make that might be a step in the right direction?