4 Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

In this post I’m explaining what I feel the difference is between competitiveness and comparing. And how I’ve been able to live a happier life because of it!

I am competitive….I get it from my mom. The thrill of beating my husband (occasionally) at a round of horse makes me giggle. It feels like I won Jeopardy when I can name a song title and band name before anyone else as it starts to play. Monopoly? You bet I’m out for blood.

Competitiveness I believe can be a very healthy attribute to have…minus the gloating (I’m guilty!). Being competitive could give you the motivation to be better and push yourself. It can help you admire people that are, in your eyes, succeeding. Competitiveness may even create drive and inspire you to set goals for yourself which, in my opinion, is great (and has done wonders for me).

There is a fine line between competitive and comparing.

I was also a victim (to myself) to comparison. And the comparison that I put myself through was not the healthy kind.

I found myself on Facebook stalking other people and comparing my pictures to theirs. Comparing my job to their job. As well as comparing their evident happiness to my happiness. While I was processing the information I was seeing, it quickly turned into victimizing thoughts….directed towards myself. I would ask myself what was wrong with me that I couldn’t be as happy….or have that dream job…or have that flawless skin as the person I was looking at.

The questions turned into negative self talk, “You’re not that good, smart, or worthy of a happy life”. To be honest I wasn’t aware that I was doing it at the time. But looking back on it now, it was part of my routine, every…single…day.

Comparing myself over and over again every day was making me miserable. I was unhappy, negative, and self sabotaging. It was hard for people to have a conversation with me because the negative comments would come out, making other people feel uncomfortable.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Teddy Roosevelt

It was during the beginning of my journey when I saw that quote. It resonated and struck a chord with me so much that I knew I needed to change in order to live a happier more fulfilling life.

These were the beliefs and actions I started practicing to stop me from comparing myself to others.

Focus your energy on what YOU are doing

By changing this habit from focusing on what everyone else was doing back on what I was doing, it gave me clarity on what I could control (like my effort). For instance, this blog. Am I the only one out there who has a wellness blog? Absolutely not. Could I get lost in looking at other people’s blogs and comparing how mine is to theirs? Of course! But I made the decision to spend that time and energy in doing what feels right to me and makes me happy…..wallah! 😊

Realizing the majority of people did not wake up one day with everything they have

I’ve touched on this in my previous blog (https://healthyhappyhumble.net/this-one-time-at-band-camp/) when I wanted to be a singer but didn’t think I was talented enough as the famous people. I mean, Lady Gaga is amazing but I doubt she woke up one morning and was a super star. People have to WORK to build their skills. And skills are learnable. I just had to find out which skills were most valuable to me. It was also important to me to realize that everyone is in a different part of their journey. Experience, practice, and opportunities play into each person’s journey. I choose to support people and cheer for them on their journey but overall I keep my eyes focused on my road.

Everyone has an opportunity

I used to feel that if someone had something or did something I wanted to do, that that meant there was lesser of a chance for me. My belief now is simply not the case. I could definitely have what they have, or do what they do. The opportunity is there, it just might not happen the same way for me. And that’s ok! Part of the fun is figuring it out in my opinion.

Comparing to who you were yesterday

Going forward if I’m going to compare myself to anyone, it will be to the person I was yesterday. Each day is a new day to be better. A better wife, friend, listener, money manager, sever, human. To me, that is progress.

I still have my competitive nature, but my biggest competition is myself and who I’m striving to be. This has changed my level of joy in my body and life ten fold.

What might you need to let go of in order to stop comparing yourself to others?